At Our Own Pace

AT OUR OWN

PACE

AT OUR OWN

PACE

A Tiny Toolkit for Autistic folks

By your facilitators:

Jamila (she/her)

Karina (she/her)

Saima (she/her)

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

About this toolkit

Consider this as a side quest for self-understanding,

self-advocacy, and self-compassion.

Inside, you'll find simple explanations, everyday

autism-related words, practical self-advocacy tips,

and grounding tools you can return to whenever

things feel confusing, overwhelming, or just a

little too much. Whether you've just left a therapy

session, are preparing for a difficult conversation,

or simply need a moment to reconnect with

yourself, this toolkit is here to meet you where

you are.

There is no right way to use it, only the way that

feels most supportive for you. Use what feels

helpful. Leave what doesn't. Your experiences are

your own, and not every tool will fit every person

or every day.

Made for neurodivergents, by neurodivergents...To save

you from the rabbit hole internet is when it comes to

autism self-explorations.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Before we begin..

there's something we'd love for you to know.

There is nothing wrong with your brain.

Autistic brains aren't broken, disordered, or less than,

they're different. They experience, process, and respond to

the world in their own ways. That's part of the beautiful

diversity of being human.

At the same time, we know the world isn't always built with

autistic people in mind. Bright lights, noisy spaces, unclear

expectations, constant social demands, inaccessible

environments, and pressure to "fit in" can all take a toll.

Sometimes, it's not you that's struggling, it's the mismatch

between your needs and the world around you.

We also believe that you are the expert on your own

experience. This toolkit isn't here to tell you who you are.

Instead, it's here to offer words, ideas, and tools that you

can take, leave, adapt, or come back to whenever they feel

helpful.

If something doesn't resonate, that's okay.

If something helps, keep it.

If your experience looks different, we believe you.

This toolkit is simply here to walk alongside you,

at your own pace.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

WHEN THINGS FEEL WOBBLY

Have you ever felt like everything suddenly becomes too loud, too bright,

too busy, or simply too much?

That's often a sign that your nervous system is working very hard.

Your nervous system is like your body's built-in safety system. Its job is

to notice what's happening around you and help you respond. When it

feels safe, it helps you think clearly, connect with others, and do the

things that matter to you.

But when your brain and body have been dealing with too much for too

long, your nervous system can become dysregulated.

These responses aren't signs that you've failed. They're your body's way of

saying, "I've been carrying a lot."

The good news is that nervous systems can be supported.

Small moments of rest, movement, sensory comfort, connection,

stimming, predictable routines, and self-compassion can all help your brain

and body find their way back to a place that feels safer.

That's where this toolkit comes in.

Not because you need fixing.

But because everyone deserves support.

Dysregulation might look like:

🌼 feeling overwhelmed or overstimulated

🌼 shutting down or melting down

🌼 struggling to find words

🌼 feeling irritable, anxious, or tearful

🌼 wanting to hide, escape, or be alone

🌼 finding everyday tasks suddenly much harder

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Tiny words, Big feelings

These are some words for things you've probably felt or you may hear.

This is simply a language to help make sense of experiences you may

already know.

You Make Sense

Masking: Hiding or changing parts of yourself to fit in or avoid being

judged. While it can help you navigate certain situations, it can also be

exhausting.

Unmasking: Gradually allowing yourself to show more of your natural way

of being. Unmasking looks different for everyone and isn't always possible

or safe

Burnout: Deep physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion caused by

prolonged stress or overwhelm. Rest alone doesn't always make it go

away.

Meltdown: An intense response to overwhelm when your brain and body

have reached their limit. It isn't a choice or a tantrum.

Shutdown: A response to overwhelm where your brain and body slow

down or "switch off." You might become quiet, lose words, or need to

withdraw.

Task Paralysis: Wanting or needing to do something but feeling unable

to start. It's often linked to overwhelm, not laziness.

Capacity: The amount of physical, emotional, mental, or social energy you

have at a given time. Your capacity can change from day to day.

Self-Compassion: Treating yourself with the same kindness, patience,

and understanding you would offer someone you care about.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Tiny words, Big feelings

Brain is braining

Executive Function: The brain skills that help with planning, organising,

remembering, starting tasks, and switching between activities.

Monotropism: The tendency to focus deeply on one thing at a time. This

can make interests incredibly engaging, but switching attention may take

more effort.

Flow State: A feeling of being completely absorbed in what you're doing.

Time often seems to disappear while you're in it

Interoception: Your ability to notice what's happening inside your body,

like hunger, thirst, pain, or needing a break. These signals can be easier or

harder for different people to notice.

Special Interest: A deep, meaningful interest that brings joy, comfort,

learning, or connection. Special interests are often an important part of

autistic identity.

Feels like a lot...

Processing Time: The extra time some people need to understand

information, organise their thoughts, or respond. Taking your time is okay.

Sensory Overload: When your brain is trying to process more sensory

information than it comfortably can. This can make everyday environments

feel overwhelming.

Overstimulation: Feeling overwhelmed because your brain has taken in

more information than it can comfortably process. This can come from

sensory, emotional, or social demands.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Tiny words, Big feelings

Sensory Seeking: Actively looking for sensory experiences that help you

feel calm, focused, or regulated, like movement, pressure, or certain

sounds.

Sensory Avoiding: Wanting to reduce or avoid certain sensory

experiences because they feel uncomfortable, painful, or overwhelming.

Boundaries: Limits you set to protect your energy, time, wellbeing, and

relationships. Healthy boundaries help you care for yourself, not push

people away.

Co-regulation: Feeling calmer because someone else offers a sense of

safety through their presence, voice, or support. We often regulate best

with other people.

People stuff

Accommodation: A change that helps someone participate more

comfortably or accessibly. Accommodations remove barriers, they don't

give unfair advantages.

Self-Advocacy: Understanding your needs and communicating them to

others. It can be as simple as asking for more time, a quieter space, or a

break.

Stimming: Repeating movements, sounds, or actions that help regulate

emotions, process information, or express feelings. Stimming is a natural

part of many autistic people's lives.

Access Needs: The things that help you participate comfortably and fully

in everyday life. Everyone has access needs, even if they look different.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Tiny words, Big feelings

Body Doubling: Doing a task while someone else is nearby, either in

person or online. Their presence can make it easier to get started or stay

focused.

Parallel Play: Spending time alongside someone without needing to talk

or interact much. You can enjoy each other's company while doing your

own thing.

Its not you, its the system

Community Care: The idea that we all deserve support and that caring

for one another helps everyone thrive. You don't have to do everything

alone.

Neurodiversity: The idea that brains naturally work in many different

ways. Different doesn't mean broken, it means diverse.

Internalised Ableism: When ableist messages from society become

beliefs you hold about yourself. It can sound like thinking you should "just

try harder" or hide your needs.

Ableism: The belief or practice of treating disabled people as less capable or

expecting them to fit into a world that wasn't designed for them.

Liberation Psychology: An approach to psychology that looks at how

systems and society affect wellbeing, not just individuals. It asks what

needs to change around us, not only within us.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

TAKE WHAT YOU

NEED

TAKE WHAT YOU

NEED

Sometimes the hardest part isn't

knowing that something feels off, it's

finding the words. Here are some

words you can borrow

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

ENERGY

time

space

break

rest

flexibility

predictability

patience

PROMPT: I NEED MORE______

COMMUNICATION

clarity

processing time

check-ins

context

reassurance

listening

honesty

SENSORY

quiet

darkness

movement

stillness

comfort

warmth

pressure

EMOTIONAL

kindness

compassion

understanding

validation

gentleness

curiosity

care

BOUNDARY

privacy

choice

control

autonomy

consent

respect

support

EXECUTIVE

FUNCTIONS

structure

routine

reminders

help

body doubling

planning

simplicity

YOUR NEEDS AREN'T "TOO MUCH." THEY'RE INFORMATION.

WHEN YOU NEED A LITTLE

EXTRA SUPPORT

WHEN YOU NEED A LITTLE

EXTRA SUPPORT

Optional calming resources

Self-Compassion Practice Guided by Dr. Kristin Neff: Guided meditation pause, breathe,

and connect with self-kindness. Useful to help you meet feelings of exhaustion,

overwhelm, and emotional depletion with care and understanding

The butterfly hug: Drawn from EMDR, this is a self-soothing exercise, gentle and easy to

do when alone. Usefule for sensory grounding, acute emotional distress, trauma and

anxiety.

Safe place imagery: Build a detailed safe space in your mind. Useful for emotional

overwhelm and anxiety.

10 Minute Guided Visualization for Anxiety: Breath awareness and a calming and

grounding ocean visualization to support you in navigating anxiety, helping your mind and

body welcome in more peace and relaxation.

Belly breathing: Where the diaphragm does the work, signaling safety to you body.

Mindful Practice for Emotional Support Guided by Dr. Kristin Neff: helps you cultivate

the courage and clarity needed to stand up for yourself while staying rooted in kindness

and self-care. Useful to support you in moments when you need strength and self-

advocacy.

Soften, Soothe, Allow: This practice supports you in turning toward emotional pain

without being overwhelmed by it. It is designed to help you hold difficult emotions with

gentleness and care.

Kindly note: Your nervous system is unique. Explore with curiosity,

keep what feels supportive, and leave the rest.

Try a self-hug, stim in a way that feels natural, wrap yourself in a soft or weighted

blanket, dim the lights, put on headphones, listen to a favourite song, hold a warm

drink, cuddle a stuffed toy or pet, rock or sway, stretch, take a few slow breaths, spend

time with a special interest, hum, put on soothing sounds in background, step outside

for fresh air, or simply give yourself permission to rest.

Comfort Ideas

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Exploring neurodiversity

Self-discovery isn't about ticking every box, it's about getting

curious. Explore this visual at your own pace and notice the

experiences that feel most like you.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

In case you forgot...

Somewhere between a sticky note from a friend and a therapist gently

reminding you of things you already know.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

You don't

have to

earn rest.

Your needs

are real,

even if other

people don't

understand

them.

Needing support

doesn't make

you a burden.

You don't

have to

explain

every

boundary

you set.

"No" is a

complete

sentence.

Taking longer

doesn't mean

you're falling

behind.

Your worth

isn't measured

by your

productivity.

You don't have

to mask to

deserve

kindness.

You are allowed

to take up space

exactly as you

are.

Asking for

help is a

form of

self-

advocacy,

not failure.

You are

allowed to

change your

mind.

Small

wins

are

still

wins.

Existing

is enough.

Your

accommodations

are acts of

self-respect,

not special

treatment

You are allowed to meet

your needs before

meeting expectations.

Your pace is not a

problem to solve.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Build your own

toolkit

these things help me feel regulated...

people i can reach out to..

i feel comforted by...

when i am over whelmed, i ususally need..

There is no "right" way to regulate. This toolkit isn't prescribing coping skills, it's

offering a menu of possibilities that can be made your own. Use these menus

and this prompt to create what feels the most safe for you

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

NOTHING IS HELPING?

You don't have to navigate difficult moments alone. Reaching out

for support is one way of caring for yourself.

This toolkit is not a substitute for therapy, medical care, or the

support of trusted people in your life.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, please reach out to someone you

trust: a friend, family member, therapist, support worker, or

community member.

If you're experiencing intense distress, feel unable to keep yourself

safe, or are in crisis, please seek immediate support by contacting:

Soft Spaces Therapy: admin@softspacestherapy.in |

www.softspacestherapy.in

iCall (TISS): 9152987821· icallhelpline.org

Vandrevala Foundation (24/7): 1860-2662-345

The Humsafar Trust: 022-26673800 ·humsafar.info

iDREAM Project (trans-specific, legal support):

idreamproject.org

SAATHII (national): saathii.org

Want to explore therapy with us? Reach out at +91 91725 46738

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

Jamila (she/her)

Karina (she/her)

Saima (she/her)

Meet you facilitators:

AuDHD (Neurodiveregent)

Self-diagnosed

Trainee therapist

karina.softspacestherapy@gmail.com

IG: @careinamadworld

Engage here to read about their lived experiences

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in

AuDHD (neurodivergent)

Late diagnosed (formally)

Therapist (liberation-oriented & trauma-informed)

saima.softspaces@gmail.com

IG @saima.therapist

Neurodivergent

Late diagnosed (self-identified)

Therapist (liberation-oriented & trauma-informed)

jamila.softspacestherapy@gmail.com

THANK YOU

FOR TAKING THE TIME TO

EXPLORE THIS TOOLKIT.

FOR TAKING THE TIME TO

EXPLORE THIS TOOLKIT.

May you continue to honour your needs, celebrate your strengths, and

remember that you deserve spaces where you can simply be yourself.

We're rooting for you.

Always remember, there's no rush.

At our own pace. 🌼

© 2026 Soft Spaces Therapy | softspacestherapy.in

This resource is for personal use. Please do not reproduce

without permission.

Soft Spaces Therapy · softspacestherapy.in